Tuesday, June 2, 2009

a LIFE lesson from Lane

tonight while i was giving Lane a bath, i realized something. he is COMPLETELY dependent on me. if i don't keep a close eye out on him in the bath tub, he will either try to climb out (which isn't pretty), try to stick his face in the water, or he would literally lie on his back and let the water cover him up.

he loves to hear my voice and he reminds me of what i need to be like. he is a very REAL creation...and more than that, i think he truly knows about God...i think he has a genuine child-like faith that i really want to have.

every night when i ask him, "who loves you?" he replies, "GOD!" then when i say, "who else loves you?" he always replies, "DADDY!" it makes me so glad to know he understands (i think) how much i love him. i want him to know how much i care and how much i would do absolutely ANYTHING for him...and then it hit me...

God wants me to be like Lane. He wants me to put my complete faith and trust in Him and not be afraid to let him know my fears, faults, and hang-ups...and even though i'm a professional Christian (it's true) i so don't want to come to grips with those things in my LIFE. i want to try to put up the daily facade that everything is ok...but it usually isn't. it NEVER is ok without Him being in complete control.

so tonight i gave God my list of things i'm angry with, scared of, and trying to fix on my own...and then i gave Him complete permission to do with it whatever He sees fit...

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