listening and learning

tonight i'm in naples, florida getting ready to speak at a single's conference. i'm doing a general session tonight and a breakout tomorrow. i have to wonder, when the people listen to me, what will they be learning?

i'm praying they learn that God is teaching me that i don't have to have all of the answers, even though the outside world, and many times the church-world, try to convince me i do. i want to live each day in the grace and rest of Christ, and through His teaching and leading, be able to experience LIFE as He would have me go through it.

what if He's leading me to sell my house? what if this economic time of crisis doesn't clear up tomorrow? what if He tells me to be a part of a church that isn't like anything i've ever been before? at first it sounds beautiful and almost romantic, to think of doing church in a new way, but this weekend has taught me, i'm pretty cynical.

the cynicism comes from watching things from a distance for a while. it comes from promises broken, hurtful statements, and watching my kids have a jaded view of God. regardless of all that though, my cynicism is not necessary. i have become nothing more than a prosecutor of pharisees, and NOT a lover of Christ.

it's easier to point the finger at the religious, especially when it's my pet peeve, but it's so hard to watch God point back at me and remind me that i have been just as silly...

thoughts...