Monday, August 4, 2008

for the first time in a long time, sunday was different for our family. we didn't go to church. it's not that we haven't missed church in the past 14 years, but it was the reality of not having a place to call home. we didn't go to two rivers, which has been our home church for the past 9 years for obvious reasons, and we didn't go anywhere else because, well, we chose to stay home. i guess part of my thinking was, if i'm going to miss brother jerry's last sunday there after 22 years, i'm not going anywhere. i don't think i expected to have a difficult time with the decision. in fact, i was absolutely excited to know that we had the freedom to CHOOSE to stay at home and sleep in. the reality however was much different. there was a heaviness in our house. the sleep wasn't that great and even going to the pool with the boys wasn't what i had hoped it would be. i had a blast with them, but something was missing. the emptiness compounded with my chance meeting with a lady on saturday afternoon who chose to tell me (RANDOMLY) about how great her church was (fellowship bible church ) and that i would be welcomed there and would love it. she even went on to say (in our 5 minute conversation) that she had grown up southern baptist, and had found a home at fellowship. she was drawn to it because it wasn't legalistic, nor was she looked down on because of what she drove or what she drank. she truly was excited about her church and what was happening in her LIFE. now, i must admit, THAT IS EXACTLY what i think church is supposed to be about...being so excited about something that is drawing you closer to Christ, further from legalism, and removing you from bitterness. i think i want to be a part of something like that. now, do i want to be a part of something like that that is already going, or am i going to be a part of something that isn't yet known? there, it's out there. i'm praying through it! pray with me, won't you?

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